So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I could make wine with my vomit
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
