lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
