I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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