I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
