So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
