fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
