We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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