I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
