I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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