I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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