So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
