It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
