Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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