I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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