If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
