I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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