The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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