Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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