literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I could make wine with my vomit
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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