Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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