dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Text me some of your sweat
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
