New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
