i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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