Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
