the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
