I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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