On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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