come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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