He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
