Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
