i will never coherently bang her
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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