Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm really into asian looking animals
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
