I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
