ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i barfeds in our rink
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
