he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he fucked my hip out of place.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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