so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
