Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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