She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
