I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
