Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
