I wish I could teleport
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Randomize
