i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
