Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
