genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
