just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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