Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
