well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
