i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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