We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
