It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
