it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my poor anus
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
