Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
